Compare & Despair

We all spend far too much time worrying about what other people think of us when, in reality, the opinion about us that matters the most is the one we have of ourselves.  We should endeavor to never compare ourselves to other people, but instead, we should compare ourselves to who we were in the past, who we are now, and who we should be in the future.  The rise of social media has made it difficult not to compare ourselves to everyone in the world. Unfortunately, you and I know the cold, hard facts about our own personal and professional lives, and social media brings us everyone else’s highlight reel.

 I have written over 50 books, and eight of them have been turned into movies.  I have always been inspired by the work of Ernest Hemmingway, but I will admit I’ve always found his fiction to be at an unattainable level for most mere mortal writers including myself.  Recently, in a new edition of Hemingway’s book entitled, Moveable Feast, Hemingway’s grandson authorized the publisher to reproduce the original first draft of that book.  As inspiring as Hemingway’s published work has always been, that first draft inspired me to even greater heights—as for the first time I saw Ernest Hemingway struggling with plot, dialogue, and all the elements of a novel in which I had always considered him the unreachable star.

 We can live our lives and view the world around us in one of two ways.  We are either endowed or entitled.  Endowed people believe everything is a gift, and they feel gratitude for it all.  Entitled people believe that the world, and everyone in it, owes them a level of success, fame and accomplishment.  Endowed people are inevitably happy, mentally well-adjusted, and successful. Entitled people are often bitter, jealous, and left believing that the world is not fair.

 If you’re wondering how you score on the endowment/entitlement scale, just ask yourself how you feel when a family member, friend, or colleague succeeds in their career, attains financial success, or enjoys fulfilling relationships.  If you are happy for them, you are endowed and destined to live a joyous life.  If you resent the success of others, you will inevitably experience depression and despair. 

 I remember when I started achieving financial success and decided to tour some million dollar apartments in New York City.  When I encountered one of my prospective future neighbors in the hall, I asked how he liked living in the building.  He told me that he lived in Paris and had a dozen other homes.  He went on to explain that this little apartment was just something he kept to use a couple of days each year when he was in New York City.  Obviously, I discovered that as I climbed up the financial ladder, I entered into a new realm of financial success that I had never known before. 

 I could either compare and despair or give thanks for all of the blessings in my life.  I chose the latter, and I hope you will do the same.

 As you go through your day today, compare yourself only to the person in the mirror.

 Today’s the day!